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The Confidence Booster Episode - Ep #117

monday motivator episodes personal development / mindset Oct 04, 2021
The Confidence Booster Episode The Heather Sager Show Podcast Episode

Confidence. It’s the word that I hear most when people tell me their goals related to speaking. People often consider it a feeling that you either have or must fake it until you magically do. How is it that we can be so confident in some areas, but insecure in others?

Today I’m sharing with you where confidence comes from and how you can consistently grow it for yourself. So if you’re struggling with confidence because you're venturing into something new or struggling with self doubt, this message today is for you. 

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The original video Heather linked to no longer exists, but check out this version:

Previous episode mentioned:

3 Ways to Monetize Free Speaking Gigs (without selling from the stage) - Ep #116



Well, hey friend, welcome back to another episode. I am thrilled you're here and we're going to make today short and sweet. For two reasons, hey, I don't know if you heard but doors are open to Speak up to Level up. So this week, I am neck deep in a launch. If you've been following along for the speaking workshops, we are having so much fun. And if you have missed them, it's a three part video series that I've been doing live workshops. They're now all available that you can binge watch the replays. It's designed for the entrepreneur who's ready to get more visible so jump in. You could listen to this before Thursday, October 7th. You can jump in and binge those workshops, but those are all going away and doors are closing for Speak up to Level up at midnight on Thursday, so I want you to jump in. 

Today's episode, I'm going to keep it short and sweet because sometimes, we all just need a reminder for some of the things that we know that we tend to forget about. And what I want to do in today's episode, I'm actually going to hit play on a short video from inside Speak up to Level up in a series of lessons which I call the SULU starting blocks and it's a few videos that I have as the fundamentals for each student to go through before they engage in the SULU content. It has like the program tour, what you need to do to get started to be successful, we talk through my daily word vomit activity which is crucial to get more comfortable when it comes to eliminating filler words and speaking what you intend to say. We also talk about the role of having really good energy on video and in your voice and bringing a positive attitude to your learning. These are just a couple supplemental videos that we have as part of the starting blocks before we start diving in to help you identify your speaking strategy and then start getting your messaging down. 

This specific video I wanted to share the audio with you today, and it's around something that I call that I don't call. My mentor Brendon Burchard calls the Confidence Competency loop. This topic is so important and it's a short video. It's just five minutes. I really felt strongly in my heart that this is something that you need to hear today. Because if you are listening to this show, I would imagine that you have something new that you are doing or trying to do in your business, whether it's launching a new offer or a new program, or you're increasing your prices, or you're trying to get booked on your first podcast, or start going live more consistently. You have something that's relatively new which probably means that you're having some shakiness with your confidence. Maybe overall, you're not feeling so confident in showing up online, or you're not feeling confident the direction of your business, or maybe there's one specific area of your life in business that you're feeling a little shaky on. Whatever that is I just had this, I don't know it sounds so cheesy, but there's really deep feeling that somebody needed to hear this today. It's a simple reminder, but do not underestimate the power of a really simple message that you've heard before. Sometimes the same messages we've heard before they resurface again at just the right time where we need that. 

So whoever you are, wherever you are, if this is something that you were struggling with in terms of your confidence because you're venturing into something new, this message today is for you. And if you're like, mom, no issues with my confidence. Good news, you're not missing much, baby, because this is a five minute episode. You can move right along, go back to the archives, find an episode that fits more in aligned with what you need right now when it comes to speaking, and might I recommend the last week's episode where I teach you how to monetize your free speaking gigs. I got so much great feedback on that one. I hope you enjoyed it too. But today's episode is for the entrepreneur who needs that little kick in the tush, that reminder that you do know what you're doing. Your confidence will be shaky, but this is the path for how you manage that confidence insecurity that we all have time to time as entrepreneurs. 

Thanks so much for being a listener to the show. Remember if this resonates with you, if this met you exactly where you were today, could you please take a screenshot and share it with your friends on social media and tag me @the heathersager. I always love seeing you listen to the show about in the world. It's kind of like a where's Waldo situation or where in the world is Carmen San Diego. There's two like awesome references from the 90s. I love to see where on the world the podcast is playing so please tag me on social media and let's jump right to it to the short five minute video on the Confidence Competency loop, and how knowing what to work on will become a strength for you to improve your confidence.

Hey friend, welcome back, Coach Heather here. We're talking about a topic that I need to give you a little warning on because as you grow through this program, you are going to get so excited and scared and excited. And then there's going to come a moment where your confidence starts tanking quite a bit. And just like it always happens as entrepreneurs, you're going to start questioning some things about yourself. Imposter syndrome is going to sneak in a bit. You're going to wonder like, can I really do this? Am I any good at this? Can this really actually be learned, Heather? You're going to then be like, oh, am I gonna be able to put myself out there? I want you to just go in with eyes wide open, and here's what I want you thinking about. Speaking is a skill. Creating content is a skill. Pitching and putting yourself out there is a skill, and just like anything, most likely you're going to suck it up a little bit at the beginning and that's perfectly normal. 

Now, for me, there's some skills that I've learned in my life that I actually started out being pretty damn good at, for example, bowling. For some reason, I'm a really good bowler, like, you know, the balls and the pin. Bowling, that's the word that I'm saying. It's like beginner's luck, and I'm sure I could get better at that. But here's the thing, most of us are not good at things when we start out. So I want you to equip yourself that regardless of where you're starting out in this program, you are going to have a certain skill set coming in and the goal is to grow that skill set over time and make it a continual habit that you're always going to get better. But here's the thing that happens, there is a correlation between your competency, i.e., your skill level and your confidence. Now one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard, he calls this dance between the two, the Confidence and Competency loop. I'm going to link below this video so you can hear him explain it in his words because he does it a hell of a lot better than I do but let me even adjust and how this will pan out for you in this program. 

When you start a new skill, you have pretty low confidence. So you're like, oh, Heather, I don't know how to speak so you sign up for a class to grow your competency. Bit by bit as your competency grows. It constantly loops like an infinity loop. As your competency grows, your confidence grows. But the more of your confidence grows, you're like, ooh, you start taking more risks. And like, okay, Heather, I went live on Instagram. Now what? And I go level up, baby, it's time for you to book yourself on a podcast. And you go, oh, I don't have the skill set for pitching yet so you go work on that skill. And as you work on that skill, your confidence then gets stronger that, oh crap, I've got this I can do that. Your confidence starts growing and you go, what next? And I say, baby, level up. And then whatever that level of action looks like you go, ah, but I don't know how to do that or it's scary. So you have to identify what's the skill I need to learn to keep moving. There is a dance between competency and confidence. And if at any point including now if you find your confidence waning of it, you know the answer is just go oh my god, this is a good thing. It means I'm working on a new skill. Focus on when you're looking or you're working on new skills. Of course, your confidence is going to be put in question but if you know to anticipate that, then you know competence will come with action. 

So I want you to thinking bout this through the program. If you're not getting uncomfortable, you're not leveling up so you should be sweaty and uncomfortable every single module you go through, every lesson, every activity. You should be uncomfortable. Now, if you ever get to the point where you're questioning yourself entirely, do I have the right business? Am I even an expert? Why will anybody ever listen to me? Just know that is normal, and the competency you're growing is the skill of being an entrepreneur which has like a bajillion little mini school skills within it. So just know that overarching question of what the hell am I doing, that is entrepreneurism, baby. Is that a word, entrepreneurism? We're gonna make it, that sounded right. I want you to know that sometimes it just feels this looming sense of a lack of confidence pointed to skill. It means you're doing new things. You're in uncharted territory and whatever the unknown looks like for you, you're there which means you are leveling up. So embrace those moments with conviction, embrace them with excitement of going, okay, this means that something bigger is happening. But know, it's a loop. The more you grow your skills, the more your confidence will go, oh, so you grow your skills and then you'll get a little stronger. So you'll grow new skills and over and over, you'll go through that loop and that's how you level up over and over again. So if you want to learn a little bit more about this, check out the amazing Brendon Burchard, somewhere below this video and I will see you in our next lesson. Bye.


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