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Make Fear Your Homeboy with Judi Holler - Ep #44

 

Sometimes fear is obvious: fear of heights, public speaking, spiders.  

Sometimes fear is complicated: fear of success, loss, failure. 

Sometimes we don’t even realize that fear is even present, but masked as something else: impostor syndrome, procrastination, doubt.

When it comes to chasing big goals you can count on FEAR being present (or acknowledge that your goals aren’t big enough).

But how do we embrace this fear, listen to it and use it as fuel to accomplish our dreams? Enter this week’s guest, the #FearBoss Queen herself, Judi Holler

Judi’s a professional keynote speaker and creative CEO. A professionally trained improviser and alumni of the Second City Training Center’s Conservatory in Chicago, Judi just celebrated the one year birthday of her best selling book, Fear is My Homeboy.

This just might be my favorite interview I’ve ever done, partly because Judi’s energy is so electrifying, but also because this is a topic that is so relevant to anyone listening.

We ALL face fear. The secret to pushing through it is whether or not we choose to face it.

In this episode, not only do we dive into all the things about fear, Judi also talks about a few of her favorite life lessons, like: 

  • Her definition of success: FREEDOM
  • There are no mistakes, only gifts
  • People aren’t lucky, they’re brave
  • We don't need to be fearless, we just need to be brave.

 

 

Here are some of my favorite highlights:

Why people aren't really putting themselves out here

(20:35) We're afraid. We're afraid of judgment. We're afraid of getting fired. We're afraid of failing. We're afraid of public embarrassment. We're afraid of looking like a fool. We're afraid of all other people's opinions, like all the things. Once I realized that it was the fear we needed to address, everything shifted for me

How do we overcome fear?

(22:01) I hate to tell you this, but you can't. You can't.' But I don't use the word bullock, but you can get really good at figuring out how to fear it just a little bit less. You can get really good at being brave and you can get really good at doing what fear doesn't expect, which is to befriend it and have different conversations with it. 

How to get real good in being brave?

(23:09) You can get really good at being brave and you can get really good at doing what fear doesn't expect, which is to befriend it and have different conversations with it. 

Procrastination, and imposter syndrome, and perfectionism and self doubt, and self sabotage, and excuses, all beautiful little ways that fear loves to hide. Once we understand that those are fear based feelings, we can go, 'Aha I see you fear.' Now, hold on. Instead of me sitting here going, 'Oh, you've arrived again, 'Perfectionism.' You've arrived again, 'Imposter syndrome.' You've arrived again, 'Jealousy.' I instead go, 'I've arrived. I've arrived,' because it means, I know I'm ready for more. It makes me believe that I feel worthy of more and I feel worthy of it.

Getting nervous is totally okay

(25:18) I absolutely get nervous because it means I care, and it means I care about my audience. It means I respect my audience. It means what I have to do matters. And I want to help facilitate change, right. And to create a call to action that inspires people, and that is a big responsibility. So yes, I feel nervous. I just know how to channel it. I know how overtime, the more you run the reps, the better you get turn that fear into excitement. 

How do we go about fear experimenting?

(29:47) This just means that instead of allowing something new or scary, fear, and negativity, and anxiety, and stress and control, you're going to do for yourself to manage those scary feelings. You want to make more fear based decisions instead of allowing fear to drive your vibe. 

You are instead thinking a little bit like a scientist. You are welcoming in more confidence, and courage and creativity and play by only looking at what you're doing as conducting fear experiments. It drives out that stress, and overwhelm, and fear and control. It welcomes in more confidence, courage, creativity and play. Here's why, because it's just an experiment. 

What are fear experiments?

(32:17) Fear experiments are, anytime you do something uncomfortable out of your comfort zone. 

Benefit of doing fear experiments?

(33:13) I am working regularly experimenting with my fear every day on purpose so when a scary thing happens, like I need to be on stage, like I've got a scary doctor's appointment, like I have to make a phone call that makes me nervous, I have begun to have a different relationship with my fear. I can now have different conversations with it. I'm now stronger because I'm used to getting uncomfortable. This is just another uncomfortable thing that I'm going to get through. 

In failing and embracing the gifts

(36:57) We run the reps to get better yet when we would mess up, when we would have mistakes, they became such beautiful gifts because it connected the audience to us so powerfully, it made us relatable. It made us real.You want the same from you. It also leans into another really empowering idea that is rooted out of this idea that there are no mistakes, only gifts.

How can we make all the disruption that's happening right now the best thing that ever happened to me?

(39:04) That requires you to be brave enough, to sit inside the discomfort so long enough for it to teach you what it's supposed to teach you.

 

Connect with Judi: 

Judi Holler: http://judiholler.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/judiholler/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judiholler/


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